My Ode to the SMF. I'm taking a note from Taylor Swift and writing some (parenting) poetry today...
INSPO
Yesterday, I left preschool dropoff a bit early because I felt that familiar heat in my eyelids, red cheeks and an ache in my gut. Tears were coming. The reason for my tears was something real yet also somewhat silly, as motherhood struggles can often feel. One ridiculous incident had been tumbling in my head all weekend and now it was Monday morning dropoff and I was leaving her to fend for herself amongst a sea of tiny souls. This age is so fragile like glass, yet sturdy like stone. They can break in a moment or bounce back in an instant. Hugs and gummies can heal all and the silliest of things can cause a meltdown.
Bottom line was this. Another mom, she noticed. My pause. My heaviness. I told her I was having a rough morning and she knew exactly how I felt. She pulled me aside. She stood with me. Listened. Let me hug it out. And we even squeezed in a few laughs. It meant the world to me. As it always does when I get blessed with those parenting moments. Those SMFs...
SMFs are the antidote for almost any challenge. And today I wanted to shout them out in this little post....
Ode to the SMF
Just like air, water, chocolate, spandex, hoodies, slides, hair ties, kid snacks, sunglasses, coffee and a DisneyPlus subscription, something every mom needs is an SMF.
What is an SMF, you ask? An SMF is a supportive mom friend.
She doesn't have to be your lifetime bestie or ride-or-die. (Or maybe she just happens to be both those things.) She doesn't even have to have kids of her own, btw! She might surface for a moment, or stay with you for a lifetime. The point is, she plays an important role in your mom journey. Like a fairy-godmother of sorts, dropping in at a random crucial moment of strife, to bring you the perfect dress, pretty makeup, event hair and magical shoes. She will wipe away your tears and turn your stepsisters into pumpkins - just maybe. Immesurable gratitude comes from every SMF interaction. She feels like a deep sigh of relief, a cozy fleece set or when a new episode a real housewives reunion drops - she's a breath of fresh air, momentary salvation from your mom-life stresses.
How many SMFs do you need? Plural is a blessing, but it truly just takes one.
Supportive Mom Friend Deep Dive
She is the woman you can text at any hour, without hesitation. The 9pm to 2am hours are prime time for the juiciest, most random, giggle-inducing chats ever.
She is the chick you give a knowing side-eye to when someone is very off-vibe or kinda mean.
She is your emergency exit. Your lifeline. Your saving grace.
Roaring fits of laughter are your love language and beloved emojis are your punctuation.
She tells you you're a rockstar when you know your giving Fraggle Rock.
She tells you your cookies are the best, even with the burnt edges.
She raves about your look, even when it's mom hair and pajama pants.
She is the soul who you could see every day or once every five years and still have the same ethereal vibe with. The same glances, snickers, giggles, head nods and looks of approval. The same dance moves, drink orders, outfit vibes and eye contact.
She is the human you can hug at any moment because your spirits are already one.
She always double taps, even on your most obtuse of IG posts.
She loves your kid because she knows he or she is your heart, twirling around the universe on the outside of your body.
She DMs you the best reels on Instagram. And tags you in the best posts.
She is the friend you reach out to when you have a hard day and you just need confirmation that you're still you.
She would leave her own kid with you in a second and you would both give each other 'emergency contact' status if needed.
But just to be clear, she doesn't have to be a mom herself. All women hold the keys to SMF royalty. And all women need their own version of this support system magic. Young, old, single, married, childless or not.
Take this in: SMFs are often transient! Temporary souls, wafting in and out of your life as circles shift, locations change and schools run their course. You don't need a lifetime interacting with an SMF for her to have an impact.
Because, the truth is, she will be with you forever. Whatever interaction you had. Nuzzled deep in your heart, memories attached to giggles or tears or moments of ache, you'll remember how she made you feel - for always. Even if today is the last day you meet.
People drift in an out of this life. You know any SMF might not be forever. (Or she just might be.) But if you must part ways, you will simply you hold your breath through motherhood, until the next gold crown surfaces and meets your mama heart in an invisible embrace -- with the mask of a knowing smile.
Let's hear it for the SMFs in our lives. Be one. Find one. Keep going mamas...
